


The Ballad of Happy Hogan (And How He Helped A God Find His Fairytale Ending)

by NamelesslyNightlock



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Banter, Bickering, Confused Happy Hogan, Confused Tony Stark, Curiosity, Developing Friendships, Established Relationship, Excited Peter Parker, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Happy, Happy Ending, Happy Hogan is a Good Bro, Humor, Idiots in Love, Invisibility, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, POV Happy Hogan, POV Outsider, Peter Parker is Trying His Best, Protective Happy Hogan, Relationship Reveal, Romantic Fluff, Secret Relationship, he puts up with so much, poor Happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:07:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23051443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: Happy takes his job as Head of Securityvery seriously– so when a suspicious figure in a black suit starts lurking around the lobby of Avengers Tower, Happy takes it upon himself to solve the mystery. No matter how difficult that may turn out to be.
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Tony Stark, Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 65
Kudos: 494





	The Ballad of Happy Hogan (And How He Helped A God Find His Fairytale Ending)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rabentochter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rabentochter/gifts).



> This one is for **Rabentochter** , who never fails to come up with something for me to write when my brain refuses to cooperate ❤︎

There was someone sneaking around Tony’s tower, and Happy didn’t like it.

Well, okay.

So maybe they weren’t _sneaking_.

But they could have been. They might as well have been. They kept showing up in the lobby and hanging about for a bit before turning on their heel and heading back out the door, having done absolutely nothing.

Or… so it seemed.

When Happy had been promoted to Head of Security at Stark Industries, he’d vowed both to himself and to Tony and Pepper that he would take the job very seriously. That meant that he would follow up on every single lead, would tighten every single noose and snare until there were no holes in his security for any insurgents to be able to exploit.

So of _course_ he noticed the odd behaviour of this guy– noticed it on the second day. And on the four days since, Happy had noticed the dark-haired man – wearing an entirely black suit, which had to be _the_ most suspicious thing ever – come into the lobby and then just… _hover._

He didn’t seem to be doing anything. Which, of course, made it all the more worrying. People who came to Avengers Tower generally did so because they had a reason, not to just stare at the elevator for a good ten minutes, pace a few times over the floor and then leave. Despite the business attire, it didn’t seem like the man was there to deal with Stark Industries– behaviour this suspicious usually had something to do with the Avengers. And that, of course, meant that it had something to do with Tony.

Looking after the Avengers was _not_ in Happy’s job description– Tony had personally seen to that, in fact. But Happy still saw looking after Tony as an extension of being SI’s Head of Security– and besides, Tony was his friend. And Happy was never going to let him down, not ever.

So, Happy kept an eye on the man who kept not-exactly-sneaking about the lobby. He did warn the other guys on his security team, but they all just stared at him blankly, as if they had never even noticed a suspicious looking fellow in a black suit.

So Happy told Pepper, just to make sure that he was following all the correct protocols– but she hadn’t seemed too worried.

“He’s probably just a fan of the Avengers, trying to get an autograph,” she had said, her tone a little distracted– and yeah, perhaps Happy shouldn’t have asked her while she was doing her paperwork, but she was so busy that there really hadn’t been any other option. “Or perhaps a reporter. If he does anything overt, shoo him out, but until then… if he’s not hurting anyone, there’s not much that you can do. Don’t waste your resources, Happy, just keep an eye on him.”

Well, you know, Happy was _already_ keeping an eye on him, that was hardly a question. And if Pepper trusted him to handle it, then he certainly sure as hell _would._

There was no chance he was going to bring it up with Tony anyway– he knew that his friend had a lot on his mind. The city had been strangely quiet lately, at least on the villain front, and the Avengers hadn’t had very much to do– but while most of the heroes took that as an excuse to relax, Tony had only begun to appear more and more stressed about it. Knowing Tony, as Happy certainly did, that probably meant he was expecting and preparing for something massively explosive to happen, as if this respite were simply the calm before the storm. And knowing Tony, _as Happy certainly did_ , he was working himself into a tangled ball of anxiety from the stress of it.

So, no. Happy really didn’t want to add more to Tony’s already full plate.

And, that was _fine_. Happy was the _Head of Security_. This was his _job._ He would be able to protect them from some guy who thought he was allergic to colour and who possibly just enjoyed ducking inside the lobby of the tower on his way home for a spot of air-conditioning. (Happy thought that was _very_ unlikely though, but he did have to consider all possible avenues. He was a professional, after all. Even if that kind of outcome seemed far too easy, much too _fairy tale_ to be anything even close to reality.)

Either way, it was all good. Happy had this in the _palm of his hand_.

Or, well— he _did_. But these things change you know, when new information comes to light. That’s part of the job. And when Happy asked JARVIS for his opinion– that was when things started getting really dicey.

Because.

Look, when Happy’s underlings had said they hadn’t noticed the guy, Happy just assumed they hadn’t been paying enough attention.

But when _JARVIS_ had no record of the man ever existing—

That was certainly cause for concern. Anyone with the kind of tech that could block JARVIS was _certainly_ a threat, there was no way someone would go that kind of trouble if they were a friendly.

So.

The next day, Happy hung around the lobby. It wasn’t too odd, right– as the Head of Security, surely that was one of the places that he needed to be. Unfortunately, the strange man never liked to show up at the same time (another thing that cut down on the likelihood of the air-conditioner theory), apparently having no set schedule– which meant that Happy was sitting down there for most of the day. But, he was on something of a mission, and he was _not_ going to let down his friends. Not when this could be really important.

And the moment the man stepped through the revolving door of the lobby, Happy was up out of his seat and striding toward him with a single-minded purpose.

The man noticed, but he barely spared Happy a glance, just stepping slightly to the side as if he thought that Happy were heading somewhere _behind_ him. And he just stared at the elevator again, his eyes never leaving those metal doors—

Well, at least until Happy came to a stop directly in front of him, crossing his arms over his chest and speaking with firm professionalism. “What is your purpose at Stark Industries?”

The man’s gaze slid to Happy then, as if he were at least mildly surprised that Happy were talking to him. As to why, Happy had no idea– one should not simply waltz into a place all suspicious-like every day for a week without expecting a couple of questions.

And when he spoke, he did _not_ say anything that Happy was expecting him to say.

“You can see me?” The man asked, looking Happy up and down.

“Of course I can,” Happy said, puffing out his chest slightly. “I’m the Head of Security. And as the Head of Security, I demand that you tell me why you are here.”

The man arched a brow. “Or what?”

“Or I will be forced to ask you to leave.”

“I suppose you could _ask,”_ the man drawled– and Happy did _not_ like his tone. Not one bit.

“Or I could just _make_ you go,” Happy replied, wearing the fierce expression that he had made sure to practice in front of his mirror. It was the kind of threat that would normally have anyone reeling, but—

The corners of the man’s lips turned up. “There will be no need for the attempt, mortal,” he said. “My purpose is likely futile, regardless.” 

And then, between one blink of the eye to the next—

The man was _gone._

Happy frowned.

“Okay,” he muttered to himself. “This might be just a little more fairy tale than I thought.”

But, if there was one thing that Happy could say for certain—

It was that this guy was _definitely_ up to something suspicious.

—-o-—

Happy went to Pepper again.

This time, he did it while she was eating lunch, so that she wasn’t busy doing numbers in her head and making sure that she agreed with everything that she signed. Unlike what Tony had done as CEO, Pepper actually _did_ read all the papers she signed herself, rather than trusting her PA to do it for her.

(Although, to be fair– Happy supposed that Tony only used to do that back when _Pepper_ was his PA, so really they were each putting their trust in exactly the same person.)

But, when Pepper asked to see footage of the guy, Happy hadn’t been able to provide any. It was like the guy just, couldn’t be caught on camera. It was _weird._

But—

“You know the kinds of people that have been popping out of the woodwork lately,” Happy argued. “You know the mad world we live in, ever since Tony started being Iron Man. You can’t tell me you think that this is impossible.”

Pepper frowned, but relented to that without argument. “If you think that this is someone with powers, then we should inform the Avengers—”

“No!” Happy exclaimed. Then, when Pepper looked a little taken aback, he cleared his throat and tried again in a tone that was a little calmer. “No. If we tell them, then they’ll tell Tony. He already has enough to be worrying about, don’t you think?”

“Tony has been acting rather odd lately,” Pepper agreed.

“He’s _stressed,”_ Happy confirmed. “And this isn’t something that he needs to be concerned with. We can deal with it.”

Pepper agreed again – Happy was certainly on a roll – _and_ she came up with an even better suggestion.

 _Of course._ The Avengers, after all, were not the only superheroes these days– and there was one who would both answer the phone when Happy called, _and_ who cared just as much about Tony as Happy did.

So it was that the next day, Happy wasn’t alone as he waited down in the lobby.

Rhodey, Happy thought, was far better at being covert than the guy in the black suit– but not by much. The cap and the sunglasses might have been all right at a baseball game but not inside the _lobby_ – and really, who even read _actual_ newspapers anymore these days?

But, whatever. It’s not like it mattered– because when the man came strolling though that revolving door, Rhodey’s gaze slid right over him.

Wondering if it was just that Rhodey thought he looked too ordinary to be the suspicious figure Happy had described – after all, it had taken Happy a few days to notice, hadn’t it? – Happy went over to the guy and stood in front of him, crossing his arms once again.

This time, the man looked to him immediately.

“Good afternoon, Mr Hogan,” he said, his voice annoyingly polite for an intruder. “How are you this fine day?”

Happy squinted in suspicion. “How do you know my name?” he asked.

The man had the audacity to actually _roll his eyes–_ but Happy’s irritation was immediately lost to something else when the man gave his answer.

“You are wearing a name badge.”

Ah. Right. _That._

Biting down on the embarrassment, Happy gave a short huff. “Yeah, well. If you know my name, shouldn’t you tell me yours?”

“Oh, no,” the man replied. “I worked yours out on my own. It would only be _fair_ if you did the same.”

Happy felt like gnashing his teeth. It was only his extensive practice at dealing with this kind of circular talk that had him staying calm. Tony, after all, was a master at avoiding things he didn’t want to talk about.

The reminder of Tony was enough to pull Happy back on track, and he sharpened his glare.

“You know what? I don’t actually care who you are,” Happy told him. “You should care who I am, though—”

“Head of Security, was it not?”

“Yes,” Happy replied, a little miffed by the interruption but refusing to let it throw him off track. “But I am also Iron Man’s best friend.”

The man actually seemed to pause at that, his head tilting a little. “Are you now?”

“Yes.”

“That’s interesting.” The man’s gaze cast around for a moment– and then settled on Rhodey. “I thought otherwise.”

Oh, _ouch._ Now _that_ got on Happy’s nerves.

“We’re all his friends,” Happy said, knowing it to be true. He was perfectly aware that Tony and Rhodey had a different kind of history, but then so did Tony and Pepper. They were _all_ best friends, just… in different kinds of ways. “And you _know_ that he lives here. So, if you don’t back off, you’re going to have more than me to deal with. And trust me, what _I_ can do to you should be more than enough.”

“Is that so?”

“Oh, yes.”

Happy didn’t like the smug expression that crawled across the man’s face.

“Oh, but Mr Hogan,” he drawled. “How will they be able to do anything, when they cannot even see me?”

Happy frowned, and glanced over to Rhodey– who had taken off his sunglasses and was staring at Happy in confusion. And when Happy looked back around—

The man was gone _again._

Happy actually _did_ gnash his teeth at that, and he stalked back over to where Rhodey was sitting on his couch.

“Tell me you saw him,” Happy demanded.

Rhodey’s brow furrowed. “Happy,” he said, his voice slow. “Are you _sure_ that there was someone there?”

Happy’s mood sharpened. “Excuse me?”

“Happy—”

“Are you calling me a liar?”

“ _No,”_ Rhodey said, dropping the newspaper and holding up his hands. “No, I’m not, okay? I believe you, we all do. But… JARVIS can’t even pick up a heat signature, and we thought at first it might just have been the tech, but I couldn’t see him at all either.”

“He _was_ there,” Happy insisted. “And he’s up to something, I know it.”

“And we’ll solve it,” Rhodey said. “Okay? We will get to the bottom of this… somehow.”

But Rhodey didn’t sound convinced of their success, and Happy? Well.

He hadn’t been made the Head of Security for nothing. He knew there was another avenue that he could try… someone _else_ that he could ask.

—-o-—

The kid was _way_ too excited.

Happy supposed he probably should have waited for the weekend, but it was only Tuesday and he _needed_ to get this resolved as soon as he possibly could. So, yeah, the kid got a day off school– the school believed he was sick, and Aunt May believed he was doing something educational for SI, and Happy just had to trust that if Aunt May called Tony about it Tony would cover for the kid and it wouldn’t come back on Happy.

But even if it did– if this worked, it would be worth it. 

Still. If Rhodey and the guy in the suit were bad at being covert, then the kid was as sneaky as the Rockefeller Christmas tree. The whole lobby was staring and pointing as Spider-Man excitedly babbled about how honoured he was to be called in for a mission, and Happy was half throwing the plan out as failed before they’d even reached the five-minute mark.

Thankfully, though, the kid did manage to stay quiet as soon as Happy managed to stick him up on the ceiling, and the people who walked into the lobby after that didn’t look up to notice him– though Happy was pretty sure he could _feel_ Peter vibrating.

When the man walked inside the lobby this time, he looked straight to Happy– and then his expression actually seemed to _lighten_ , as if he were glad to see Happy there.

Happy didn’t like that. It was _not_ the kind of reaction he wanted an intruder to have upon spotting him. He was the _Head of Security_. An intruder was not supposed to _want_ to see him.

It set Happy’s teeth on edge, and he spoke before the man was even directly in front of him.

“Okay,” he said, doing his best to keep his voice level. “Tell me. Last chance. _Why_ are you here?”

The man’s lip curved up into a half smile. “I was right, wasn’t I?” he said. “Rhodes could not see me.”

Happy _tried_ not to let it get to him even more than it already had. “Why are you here?” he asked again. “Why do you keep coming here? At first I thought maybe you were scoping the place out, but if that were the case you would have stopped when I first noticed you. You wouldn’t be _glad_ to see me. And you haven’t done _anything_ so _why_ do you keep coming back?”

“I…” the man looked a little thrown, and when he found his voice again, he actually – and rather suddenly, in Happy’s opinion – looked and sounded almost _sad._ “I suppose I _don’t_ do anything, do I?”

Happy had half a retort at the ready, but at the sound of that… he found himself faltering.

_Huh?_

Why… why would the guy be _sad?_

But before Happy could even _think_ about how to get an answer to that question—

“ _Kyaa!_ You’re going down, foul demon—!”

The air was suddenly full of webbing, streams of it firing off in every direction as Spider-Man threw himself down to the ground. He looked like he thought he was doing some kind of rendition of the Karate Kid, hands punching the air again and again as he covered the whole _lobby_ with webbing—

Not a single string of it hitting a black suit, of course, since the guy had vanished at the first sound of a shout.

Happy sighed, and turned to the kid.

“Hey. Spider-Man.”

“Did I get him?” Peter asked hopefully.

“Not even close,” Happy confirmed.

Peter deflated. “Aw, man. I thought for _sure_ at least _one_ of those should’ve—”

“So you couldn’t see him either?”

The kid shook his head. “I couldn’t even feel him.” 

Happy groaned. He had worked out thus far that – for some strange, unknown reason – he was the only person who was able to see the guy, but he’d thought that Peter’s creatively dubbed ‘spidey-sense’ might have been able to pick up on something.

Apparently, not even the super-hero stuff could be on his side in this endeavour.

“How is this even possible?” he muttered, rubbing his hands over his face.

“I don’t know, Mr Happy,” Peter said, almost sounding miserable because he hadn’t been able to do what Happy had hoped. “I’m sorry. But, you know– my spidey-sense picks up on stuff that’s dangerous, people with bad intentions, that kind of thing. So, maybe this guy just isn’t all that bad?”

That caused Happy to sigh– though of course, had Peter presented the suggestion half an hour before, Happy likely would have scoffed. But, as it was, remembering the tenor of sadness in the man’s tone, the addition of _this_ theory only made Happy… _curious._ He wanted to know what was going on.

Not, of course, that _wanting_ was going to get him anywhere. If there was one thing that Happy had learned over recent years, it was that you couldn’t make anything happen without throwing in a healthy dose of hard work– but Happy didn’t even know where to start.

But, perhaps his hopelessness showed in his expression– for the kid seemed to be thinking hard, and it was only a few moments later that he brightened once again. 

“Oh, hey!” Peter exclaimed, his lips quite obviously pulling into a grin under his mask. “There is one thing that you could try, if you want to stop him from getting in?”

Happy wasn’t entirely certain if that was still what he wanted, to be honest, but it was more than anything he had. So he tuned in to listen to the kid’s idea, and actually… you know what?

It wasn’t even half bad.

—-o-—

The thing about the current political climate is that no one questioned when the revolving door at the main entrance to Avengers Tower stopped turning automatically.

It only took a word here, a whisper there – Ms Potts wanted the place to appear more eco-friendly to appease the public, and stopping the constantly moving door was an easily visible reduction of energy use.

Never mind that the tower, of course, already ran on completely renewable energy from arc reactor technology. It wasn’t like that was a _secret_ – it had been all over the news when it was announced. But, people tend to overlook these things, and it certainly worked in Happy’s favour. He even put in a request to JARVIS to make the gears resist a little more, so that the doors would slow very quickly if there was not someone actively pushing them. It meant that every person who needed to enter had to push the doors themselves—

And _that_ meant someone who was pretending to be invisible would not be able to get inside without alerting someone to their presence.

Happy felt the glee at his – well, _Peter’s_ – plan coming to fruition as he waited in the lobby for the invisible, disappearing man to show up. And show up he did– frowning as he moved toward the door, the expression deepening as he realised that he would not be able to enter discreetly. It was rather amusing, that for all of this guy’s magical powers, he could be stopped by simply turning off the door.

Well– maybe not.

As Happy watched, the guy moved to the side of the door and raised his hands to the window, his fingers glowing slightly with a shimmer of green. Of course, it was only _then_ Happy remembered that the guy could vanish into thin air, and that it would only make sense that if he could teleport out of the tower, then he would be able to teleport _in_ as well.

It certainly looked like the guy was thinking about it—

But then, something rather odd happened. Rather than just teleporting inside, as Happy was expecting, the man’s hand… lowered, and then he stepped back away. His expression was beyond downcast, all cockiness and arrogance removed. He just looked… dispirited, as if there had been a goal in his mind that he no longer believed he could reach.

And, look. Happy still didn’t know what this guy was up to. There _was_ still the possibility that he looked sad because Happy was interfering with his plans to poison Tony’s coffee supply, or to fill Pepper’s filing cabinets with rattlesnakes. But—

There was also the chance that there was something else going on here. And after spending a solid two weeks watching this guy now, Happy felt like they maybe had something of a connection, you know?

“Brenda?” Happy said, speaking clearly into his walkie, making sure there would be no chance for miscommunication. “Sign me out for a few, will you? I’m taking my break.”

“Sure, Mr Hogan,” Brenda called out from the security desk. “Have a good lunch!” Happy considered going to tell her that she should have replied on the walkie as per protocol, but the guy was getting further and further away.

So Happy drew in a deep breath, straightened his back, and moved for the exit with a determined stride—

Which had to pause for a minute as he struggled with the revolving door. Did JARVIS _really_ have to make it so stiff?

Anyway.

The moment he was out, Happy regained his stride and hurried in the direction that the man had gone. Thankfully, he hadn’t gone very far at all, and it did not take Happy long to find him. He was seated on a chair outside a café, looking up at the tower with something of a wistful expression painted over his face. There was a cup of coffee in front of him, so Happy supposed that he must have finally lifted whatever it was that kept him invisible.

Happy hesitated, for a moment– but once that moment was up, he took the seat opposite. It made a bit of a loud screech against the pavement as he tugged it back, and the man glanced down to look at Happy instead.

“Mr Hogan,” the man said– and this time, his words were not the taunt that Happy had grown used to. They were almost… wary.

“I’m not here to chase you, or to threaten you,” Happy said, holding up his hands. “Promise. I just want to chat.”

“That’s good,” the man sighed. “For you will not need to worry about me, anymore. I have come to the conclusion that… if I am hesitating for this long, then it is unlikely that I will ever be able to summon the nerve I need.”

Happy blinked. “I’m sure that would make sense to someone who knew what you’re talking about,” he said. “And I’m also sure that person would tell you not to give up.”

The man arched a brow, some of the wariness overtaken by that wistfulness again. “That is surprising, given that you have been trying to stop me all this time.”

“Perhaps I’ve come to a conclusion as well,” Happy said, leaning back slightly. “Perhaps I’ve decided to _stop_ stopping you—”

“ _Trying_ to stop me—”

“Well, yes. Stop _trying_ to stop you. Because you haven’t done anything too nefarious yet, and something is telling me that… you could have, if you wanted. But you haven’t.”

The man tilted his head, strands of dark hair shifting over his shoulder. “That is a rather dangerous conclusion to make.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe I just like giving people the benefit of the doubt.”

“Again, dangerous. I thought you told me that you were Head of Security?”

“I am.” Happy puffed out his chest a little with instinctive pride, but… that wasn’t what was needed right now, was it? The man still didn’t look quite… right, and Happy wanted to get to the bottom of this. Whatever it was, whether it be dangerous or not. So, then he leaned forward instead, his hands on the table in a manner that he hoped was non-threatening. “You know, it’s true that I don’t know what you’re up to, or why you keep trying to get into the tower while invisible. And maybe you’ll never tell me, but—” 

“I thought I told you to work it out yourself,” the man cut in.

“I thought that, if you wanted me to know, you would tell me,” Happy said, frowning. “I’m not going to just _pry.”_

“I thought you believed me to be your enemy,” the man replied, his brow creased, now.

“I believed that you were up to no good, but that is hardly the same thing.” Happy knew that he was frowning too, he could feel it. “I never called the cops on you, did I?”

“You did call Spider-Man and Iron Patriot,” the man pointed out, though his lips were beginning to turn up a bit, so Happy totally counted it as a win– especially when that smile widened a little as Happy continued.

“I’d call him War Machine anywhere within a ten-block radius of the tower, if I were you,” Happy warned. “But, anyway, that is hardly the same thing. I mean, maybe you were trying to kidnap Pepper or Tony, but surely you could have thought of a better plan than skulking around the lobby every day. I’d rather know what’s going on before doing something rash, you know? Not, of course, that I wasn’t keeping a hawk’s eye on you. If you’d shown even the slightest _hint_ of enemy material, I would have had the whole of the Avengers crashing down on you like a herd of wildebeest.”

The response Happy received was not one that he expected. Not that he knew what he _was_ expecting, but. He was quite sure that it _wasn’t—_

“I can see why he likes you.” The man’s voice was soft, his expression calmer than Happy had ever seen it. Then he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair– a gesture that was almost… familiar, actually, one that tugged at Happy’s memory. But he was distracted from the thought as the man spoke again. “You are right, I had nor will I have any… _nefarious_ plans for Stark Tower.”

“Avengers Tower,” Happy corrected.

The man inclined his head. “Of course. My focus was never on the tower itself, regardless.”

 _That_ was slightly worrying, because maybe this was a kidnapping plot after all– but then… looking at the way that the man’s eyes softened further as they strayed back to the top of the tower… maybe not.

“Why _didn’t_ you ever go into the tower?” Happy asked, unable to help himself. “Past the lobby, I mean. You can turn _invisible_ – well, almost. Hey, how come I can see you when no one else can?”

“I am not sure,” the man admitted– the curiosity in his gaze overwhelming any shame in admitting that fact. “I believe that you must have an interesting way of seeing the world, Mr Hogan. It is not a power, as such, simply… intuition.”

“I have always been good at noticing things,” Happy replied, thinking back to when he had been the one to uncover the extremis plot against Pepper back in LA. Tony had sworn to never dismiss Happy’s gut feelings ever again after that.

“I daresay you are.” The man tilted his head. “You told me that you are Iron Man’s best friend?”

“Well, one of them,” Happy replied, feeling a little thrown by the change in subject, and not wanting to divulge too much before he knew a little more. He was, after all, still in the dark as to what this guy wanted. “Why?”

“I am… in something of a situation,” the man replied. Then, he appeared to steel himself before he said– “Mr Hogan. Would you mind terribly if I asked you for some advice?”

It was more than a little confusing, but it was also an opportunity, so Happy said– “I suppose that I _might_. It’s just that I don’t normally hand out advice to people whose names I don’t know, that’s all.”

The man’s lips turned up again at that, just ever so slightly. “And I thought you were going to leave it up to me as to whether or not I tell you things?”

“Yes,” Happy agreed. “That doesn’t mean that I can’t decide not to trust you without it, though.”

The man seemed to accept that, but– “Perhaps, I know that you would trust me even less if you knew it.”

“And that’s not worrying me _at all,”_ Happy replied, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, who taught you how to negotiate? You need a few lessons in the business world.”

The man blinked, as if that was something he had not expected– and then he barked out a laugh. The laugh was a strained kind of thing, not a very pretty sound. And that, if anything, consolidated the fact that…

This guy actually _didn’t_ mean any harm.

Something that Happy tried to make himself remember when the man said—

“That’s certainly a thing to say to a Prince of Asgard.”

Happy frowned, because. He only knew of the one Prince of Asgard, and he certainly didn’t look like this guy opposite. But then he remembered that Thor had a _brother_ , and that—

Oh, God.

Oh _god_ , in fact, since this guy was clearly—

“Loki,” the man said, his smirk not quite matching the wariness that had returned to his green eyes as he leaned back in his chair. “God of Mischief. I would say _at your service_ , but I am afraid that is rather incorrect.”

“Right.” Happy swallowed. “You’re, Loki. And Loki is—”

“If you’re thinking that I’m an enemy of the Avengers, then—”

“You haven’t attacked them in a while,” Happy said, knowing that to be true. “But then… why were you…”

“Trying to get into Stark Tower in a Midgardian suit?” Loki asked.

“ _Avengers_ Tower,” Happy corrected again.

“It still says Stark Tower on the lease,” Loki pointed out. “Avengers Tower is just what the public has taken to calling it, since that monstrous letter _A_ was stuck on the side.”

“That’s something Tony says when he’s feeling spiteful,” Happy murmured, almost reflexively. “I, uh. Okay. But if you weren’t trying to attack them, then what _were_ you trying to do?” Then Happy remembered, and his frown deepened. “And why do you want _my_ advice on it?”

“Because you are… Iron Man’s friend,” Loki said firmly. “So you would know. Whether he would…” He trailed off, and ducked his head– and Happy’s eyes widened when he noticed that Loki’s cheeks were actually stained slightly pink. “Well, whether. He would consider, with me being who I am, and he being… well… I am not certain that he would want to be associated with a person like me, even though I _know_ that he—” Loki cut himself off by gritting his teeth, and Happy—

Well.

Hang on a minute—

No way. No _way._ This was like something out of a bad sitcom. There was _no_ way Happy’s hunch was right—

Though of course, he blurted it out anyway.

“Do you want to ask Tony out on a date?”

Loki’s flush deepened, and Happy’s eyes widened further.

“Not, exactly—”

“This is… oh, wow,” Happy cut in, leaning back slightly, his hands feeling a little awkward all of sudden like he didn’t know what to do with them. “You _really—”_

“Mr Hogan, I do not think that this is what you think it is—”

“Oh, I think it _is,”_ Happy said. “And I also think that you’ve got nothing to worry about. Well, so long as you’re telling the truth when you said that you didn’t want to hurt Tony—”

“I never actually _said_ that—”

“Then you better well had. If you hurt Tony, then you’re going to have _hell_ on your hands, you hear me?”

“Yes, I am sure the Avengers will descend upon me like a, herd of wildebeest, was it?”

“They’ll only get to you _after_ JARVIS is done with you,” Happy pointed out darkly. “He’ll make anything they could do to you look like child’s play.”

“I should have known that this was a bad idea,” Loki groaned. Then he sighed. “Look, I apologise for bothering you. You will not have to worry about me again—”

“No, nope,” Happy said, holding up one hand, and already pulling out his phone with the other. “You’re going to wait right here. No disappearing, you hear me?”

Loki went a little pale, but he didn’t move– which Happy took to mean that he didn’t _really_ object. And even as Happy hit his speed dial, it seemed that Loki steeled himself in some way, his expression settling into something like determination.

The call connected quickly, the blasting of ACDC in the background.

“Hey Hap, what’s up?”

“I need you to get to my location,” Happy said strongly, leaving no room for argument. “ _Now.”_

There was a crashing noise, as if metal was being knocked over, and then– “I’m on my way!”

The call cut off abruptly, even faster than it had been picked up, and Happy realised that maybe he should have given a little more information so as not to cause undue worry.

Ah well. It _did_ mean that Iron Man was soaring out of the tower less than thirty seconds later, and slamming down on the sidewalk with his repulsors raised.

(Oops.)

“Tony,” Happy said quickly, getting out of his seat and holding up his hands in a pose that echoed Tony’s, but in a far less threatening way since, well. Happy didn’t have highly powerful energy beams capable of beating up gods and aliens strapped to his palms, now did he? But the gesture seemed to calm Tony a little. “It’s fine, I didn’t mean that it was an emergency.”

It was hard to tell whether Happy’s words actually did anything, because of the faceplate and all– but that didn’t really matter. Because Iron Man’s bright gaze shifted from Happy to the seat opposite where Happy had been sitting—

And then the suit folded away into the arc reactor in the next moment, leaving Tony in only his grease-stained jeans and t-shirt.

“Loki?” Tony’s brow was furrowed, his eyes widening slightly. “What are you doing?”

Happy turned slightly so that they were both in his line of vision, and grinned. “Loki has something that he wishes to ask you,” he said smugly.

The picture before him was most amusing. Loki’s cheeks looked as red as a fire engine, a sheer contrast to the white of his knuckles where his hands were clenched on the table. Tony, meanwhile, looked like the biggest bundle of confusion that had ever lived.

“Loki?” Tony asked, again, taking half a step forward– and then he paused as if thinking better of it, his eyes glancing to the crowd that had amassed to stare at Iron Man.

Which was how he missed it as Loki surged out of his seat, crossing the distance in a few quick strides. But Happy saw it all– he saw the determination on Loki’s face, the steely set of his eyes. He saw the way that Tony’s eyes widened first in surprise, but then undeniable _happiness_ in the single second before Loki’s hands were gripping Tony’s shirt and yanking him forward, crashing their lips together in a hungry kiss.

Happy blinked. He had to admit, this was also not something that he was expecting.

Other than the initial surprise, Tony did not seem thrown at all by this development– his arms were wrapping around Loki’s waist even as Loki’s hands slid up to hook around Tony’s shoulders, the pair of them clinging together as if… as if this was something they had done many times before, but would never be able to get enough of.

And you know. Happy would have been totally happy to let them keep at it, because they seemed like they were rather enjoying themselves. But, uh.

The people in the crowd had already pulled out their phones, you know? And Happy could _hear_ Pepper’s lecture already. And besides, hadn’t Loki been worried about image or, something, earlier?

“Uh, guys?” he tried, lifting a hand and then lowering it again, unsure whether poking them was a good idea. Thankfully, they did seem to hear him. 

They pulled apart, but they did not look away from each other. One of Loki’s hands was gently stroking Tony’s cheek, while Tony was holding Loki tightly, as if he never wanted to let go.

“So you decided that you didn’t want us to be a secret anymore, huh?” Tony asked, his voice soft in a way that Happy had never heard before.

Loki smiled in response– a _real_ smile this time, not one of those that he had given Happy thus far. “I want the world to know that I am yours, and that you are mine,” he said. “I am sorry that I ever suggested otherwise. I have been wanting to tell you for days, I tried to come up to the penthouse through the _door_ to ask you properly instead of sneaking in like always, but… I was worried. You seemed comfortable the way things were.”

“Aw, Lokes,” Tony said. “You know I’d have been writing this in the sky from the first day if I thought that was what you wanted.”

Loki smiled again at that, and leaned in to kiss Tony again– more sweetly, this time.

But the crowd were still there, and Happy cleared his throat.

This time, when they broke their kiss they looked over to Happy– and Tony ran his hand through his hair in a gesture that had Happy having a little _ah_ moment. They really had been together a while, hadn’t they? Perhaps Happy was not so observant as he had thought.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Happy said. “I am happy for you both, but the crowd—”

“Let them take all the pictures they want,” Tony cut in– and Loki’s smile widened.

“Yes,” Loki agreed, his gaze never leaving Tony’s face. “Let the world know how much I love you.”

Tony softened so completely then that Happy might have worried that he was about to melt into a puddle on the floor. But Tony just melted into Loki instead, leaning his head on Loki’s shoulder in a close, intimate embrace.

“Take us home?” Tony asked.

Loki smiled, and he gained that glint of concentration that Happy knew rather well by now– but then that green gaze turned to Happy.

“Mr Hogan?” Loki said. “Thank you. For everything.”

Even though he wasn’t entirely sure what it was that he had done, Happy nodded his head. “You’re welcome!”

Then that familiar green shimmer engulfed the pair, and they _both_ disappeared into nothing.

And you know what? Happy still hadn’t entirely solved the mystery– he didn’t know how this happened, or how long it had been going on. But… he no longer felt like he _needed_ to know. Tony and Loki would be good together, and Happy? Well, he had a job to do. He’d already left the tower without its Head of Security for far too long, and it was time that he got back to it.

Who knows? There might be a suspicious figure lurking around, and if there was? Then they had better watch their back, because Happy would be on the case– and he took his job _very_ seriously.

(Even if, sometimes, the outcome had a bit more of a fairy tale ending than expected.)


End file.
